Stressed Out Bride Survival Guide (March, 2006)

Welcome to one of the most wonderful, strange, fabulous, and weirdest stages of your life. Your engagement. To paraphrase Dickens, it can be the best of times and it can be the worst of times. You’re ready to start your happily-forever-after and yet you still have to make it through this not-yet-spouses limbo period. That means anywhere from six to twelve months or more of planning, preparation, fighting, crying, and dealing with family dynamics. Sounds awful? Not if you follow PrescottWeddings.com advice. We say, “Go ahead, enjoy your engagement. We dare you!”

If planning your wedding is consuming your every waking thought, you may be jeopardizing your relationship, friendships or work. If you’re obsessing over the napkin colors or the filling flavor of your wedding cake, it’s time to slow down, take a deep breath and relax. Here are some ways that will help you maintain your perspective.

• Don’t feel you have to take everyone’s advice. Be gracious when someone offers their 2¢ worth of unsolicited advice but don’t commit. Instead of saying no and getting into a heated discussion, just cock your head slightly, raise your eyebrow and say, “Hmmm, that’s a thought. It sounds like a good idea. I’ll have to think about it.” Then, go ahead and do what you were planning to do anyway.
  
  
• Surround yourself with positive energy. Call your best girlfriend for an impromptu lunch or night out with the strong rule established before of “no wedding talk”. On the other hand, should you be having problems with a demanding bridesmaid, stay clear of her for a while.
  
  
• Pick your battles. It’s the best way to limit outside stress. Don’t make a big deal out of every thing. Agonizing over every little detail puts you under way too much stress.
  
  
• Don’t be a superwoman. Take on less as your wedding day approaches. Don’t volunteer for any extra work assignments or decide to take on hosting a good friend’s baby shower. Let someone else do it. If you can afford it, hire a cleaning service for your home and order take-out meals. Why worry about dust balls when you have place cards to tackle?
  
  
• Do get plenty of exercise. Aside from all its other benefits, exercise is one of the best ways to shift a stressed-out mind. Instead of running away, enjoy a brisk jog instead. Imagine yourself literally sweating out your stress.
  
  
• Set aside two-of-you-together time. Have a once-a-week date with your fiancé. He could be starting to feeling neglected or that the wedding means more to you than he does. Reassure him that he’s still number one in your life by enjoying some special romance time together.
  
  
• Plan in spurts. Feeling energetic? Get tons of planning tasks and errands done in one action-packed planning weekend, then take a couple of weeks off.
  
  
• Don’t jeopardize your job. Research vendors through their websites when you’re at home, not work. Employers have ways of tracking what you’re doing online. Have vendors reply to your email inquiries to your personal e-address. If you call, leave a detailed phone message and ask that they call you back on your cell or at home at a particular time.
  
  
• Don’t do everything during your lunch hour. Arrange vendor meetings on weekends or after work.
  
  
• Don’t investigate every wedding planning option out there. Oh, we know. You believe you’re being diligent by cruising the bridal shows and picking up every piece of literature offered. Then what? Are you planning to call all those people for appointments or price quotes? Waste of time! Be choosy; ask two to five recently married women who their top pros were and call those.
  
  
• Take one friend bridesmaid-dress shopping. You may think that shopping with all your girls makes you kind and inclusive, but unless you’re all on the same page style-wise, you’re just setting yourself up for a shopping trip fraught with different opinions. Instead, take one trusted pal on a series of initial dress-shopping forays. The rest of the crew can come on a final buying trip. This is not to say that you should become a bridal diva – do give them a couple of options in an acceptable range. Everyone will be happier. Trust us.
  
  
• Get ready in relative solitude. Perhaps you’ve imagined a host of helpers when you get dressed. Save the sorority soiree for the dance floor. Very likely, this will be the only quiet time of the day you will have. Pick and choose whom you want near you at this critical time.
  

Editor’s Note: Do you have any survival hints of your own? Write to us and we’ll post it on PrescottWeddings.com.

PrescottWeddings.com – the area’s premier wedding online magazine.


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