PrescottWeddings.com "Miss SOS" Articles Archive

Dear Miss SOS:

I am a divorced mother getting married to a man also with children. We are merging a new family with the old. Do you have any suggestions how to introduce guests to each other and to members of my new family? Also, can you suggest any ceremony roles for children?

Introductions are handled adroitly and with sensitivity to all parties involved. Introduce a former in-law as a “friend” rather than as an ex-sister-in-law. Introduce your ex-mother-in-law as “Cindy’s grandmother”. If your new husband’s children refer to you as their stepmother, introduce them the same way: “This is my stepson, Rob.” Let guests know how you met other guests. Present your “neighbor from back home” to your “co-worker”.

There are many ways to include a child in the wedding. Dependent on their age, you may ask them to be a flower girl, ring bearer, bridesmaid, usher, or honor attendant. You could also ask them to pass out hymnals or programs before the ceremony begins.

Other ideas include assigning them a special seat and having them escorted there before the seating of the Bride’s mother. You may decide to order special flowers for them to wear – a wrist corsage or boutonniere. Their names could be mentioned in a special prayer. After you have exchanged rings, have the children join you at the altar for an affirmation of the family unit. At that time you might wish to give to each child a gift – perhaps a family medallion (three raised, interlocking circles symbolizing the uniting of families) accompanied by a pledge to love and care for them. By incorporating some of these ideas in your service, don’t be surprised if your children refer to the wedding date as “the day we all got married.”

Dear Miss SOS:

I am planning to have my daughter walk me down the aisle. At the time of my wedding she will be eleven years old. When I tell people this they have a strange look. My father is still alive and very much in my life. This is my first wedding. I was planning on my father walking my mother down the aisle, my soon-to-be-father-in-law walking my soon-to-be-mother-in-law down the aisle, and my daughter walking with me. Does that seem OK or am I way off base?

The Bride may be escorted down the aisle by her father, her mother, both parents, stepparents, her brother, her sister, a favorite uncle or aunt or cousin, her godfather, her godmother, her daughter, her son, her future stepchildren, or if the Bride prefers, she may walk down the aisle solo without an escort. One of the loveliest ceremonies Miss SOS ever attended included the Bride’s grandmother and mother escorting her down the aisle, symbolizing the continuity of the women in the family.

By all means, have your daughter escort you down the aisle as you start your new life together. Rather than the wording “who gives this woman to this man?” (which would be awkward for a young lady to respond “I do”), Miss SOS suggests the phrasing “who supports the union of this woman and this man?” Your daughter would still be able to respond the same (“I do”) and adds a beautiful richness and meaning to the service.

In the order of the seating of the parents, the Groom’s mother and father walk down the aisle first. Your mother, escorted by your father, follows them. Please note that the Mother of the Bride is the last person to be escorted down the aisle before the processional starts. It is her honor and her distinction. No other person is to be escorted once she is seated. Late-arriving guests are to be quietly instructed by the Ushers to seat themselves in the rear so not to further disturb the proceedings.

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